Trump Fears “Border Conflict Between North And South Dakota”

Donald Trump has reportedly ordered the Secretary of the Interior David Bernhardt and members of the National Guard to unify those states in America that claim the same name. He said “we have to settle any simmering differences starting with Continue reading Trump Fears “Border Conflict Between North And South Dakota”

Trump Brain Scan Said To Reveal Large Amounts Of “Styrofoam Like Filler”

According to a physician at Walter Reed Hospital, the results of President Donald Trump’s recent physical included an MRI that showed large portions of his brain consisted of a useless ‘Styrofoam like’ substance rather than the essential white or grey Continue reading Trump Brain Scan Said To Reveal Large Amounts Of “Styrofoam Like Filler”

Trump Considered Daughter Tiffany As Next Attorney General

According to sources in the White House, President Donald Trump considered appointing his youngest daughter Tiffany to the position of acting United States Attorney General. He is said to have told them that after she graduates Georgetown Law School she Continue reading Trump Considered Daughter Tiffany As Next Attorney General

Earth Said to Be Put On Intergalactic ‘Do Not Call’ List

In a rebuke to our home planet, Earth reportedly has been added to the ‘Do Not Call’ list by the powers that be in the universe. That startling communiqué was first reported by Johan and Simone Haxtone, a French couple Continue reading Earth Said to Be Put On Intergalactic ‘Do Not Call’ List

Artificial Intelligence Expected To Put Mankind Out of Its Misery

Artificial Intelligence (AI) will be to the human race what the meteor was to the dinosaurs – a gruesome ending to Earth’s current ruling party. That startling news comes from More On, a California think tank, in a blunt report Continue reading Artificial Intelligence Expected To Put Mankind Out of Its Misery

Trump IRS Returns Found In Garage Sale Picture Frame

What was first thought to be a reprint of a Margaret Keane ‘wide-eye waif’ purchased at a Schenectady, New York garage sale turned out to conceal a copy of President Donald Trump’s latest federal and state tax returns. A spokesperson Continue reading Trump IRS Returns Found In Garage Sale Picture Frame

Scuffle At Brooklyn Cafe As Customers Declare ’No Coffee, No Peace’

A melee broke out early this morning at a coffee shop in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn between those waiting in line to order their tall, grandes and ventis and the steady stream of customers who ordered online and sauntered Continue reading Scuffle At Brooklyn Cafe As Customers Declare ’No Coffee, No Peace’

Trump PAC Seeks To Push 2nd Amendment Into First Place

A political action committee (PAC) said to be aligned with President Donald Trump reportedly plans on putting a referendum on ballots throughout the country this November that would give voters a voice in repositioning the order of the Constitutional amendments. Continue reading Trump PAC Seeks To Push 2nd Amendment Into First Place

Hillary Emails Lay Out Why She Hung With Bill After Affair

A series of confidential emails discovered during an investigation of Hillary Clinton’s online accounts are said to contain correspondence revealing that the former first lady believed oral sex meant ‘talking dirty’ rather than an actual physical act. According to a Continue reading Hillary Emails Lay Out Why She Hung With Bill After Affair

Trump Plans To Replace English Alphabet With American Version

President Trump is expected to sign an executive order to replace the familiar English language alphabet and grammar with an American version to reduce the United State’s dependence on foreign imports. That decision, according to an unnamed  source, was discussed Continue reading Trump Plans To Replace English Alphabet With American Version