Attendees At Trump Rallies Think ‘Roe vs. Wade’ Is Upcoming UFC Fight

In a series of surveys taken of those attending President Trump’s rallies some thirty-one percent thought “Roe versus Wade,” the Supreme Court decision upholding abortion rights, was actually an upcoming UFC fight while another nineteen-percent believed it was two of Continue reading

Giddy GOP Congressmen Said To “Wet Their Pants” During Strzok Hearings

Republican members of Congress who questioned FBI agent Peter Strzok’s investigation into Donald Trump were reportedly so excited for the opportunity they may have wet their pants during the proceedings. The source, a custodian working for a company contracted to perform Continue reading

Trump Aide Stephen Miller’s Vampirism Linked To Missing Border Children

A classified report from the Department of Homeland Security is said to implicate senior White House advisor Steven Miller’s recurrence of his life long struggle with vampirism in the disappearance of migrant children separated from their parents at the border. Continue reading

“Terrified” Don Jr. and Eric Trump Separated From Parents At Border

An Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) error reportedly separated Eric and Donald Trump Jr. from their parents when they wandered off as the family entered the United States from an overseas trip. The eldest sons of President Donald Trump and Continue reading

Measure of ‘Lowest Common Denominator‘ Among Americans Near Zero

The benchmark for the so-called ‘lowest common denominator’ of Americans is now close to bottoming out. “Any lower and we’ll be flat lining,” says Owen Richards, head of statistical analysis at More On, a California think tank. The term represents Continue reading

Rise in Spontaneous Human Combustion Fueled by Trump Election

An alarming increase in cases of spontaneous human combustion (SHC) among Americans is reportedly due in large part to anger from the election of Donald Trump and a Republican led Congress. That’s according to an explosive study by a leading Continue reading