Trump Brain Scan Said To Reveal Large Amounts Of “Styrofoam Like Filler”

According to a physician at Walter Reed Hospital, the results of President Donald Trump’s recent physical included an MRI that showed large portions of his brain consisted of a useless ‘Styrofoam like’ substance rather than the essential white or grey Continue reading Trump Brain Scan Said To Reveal Large Amounts Of “Styrofoam Like Filler”

Trump Considered Daughter Tiffany As Next Attorney General

According to sources in the White House, President Donald Trump considered appointing his youngest daughter Tiffany to the position of acting United States Attorney General. He is said to have told them that after she graduated Georgetown Law School she Continue reading Trump Considered Daughter Tiffany As Next Attorney General

Trump PAC Seeks To Push 2nd Amendment Into First Place

A political action committee (PAC) said to be aligned with President Donald Trump reportedly plans on putting a referendum on ballots throughout the country this November that would give voters a voice in repositioning the order of the Constitutional amendments. Continue reading Trump PAC Seeks To Push 2nd Amendment Into First Place

Hillary Emails Lay Out Why She Hung With Bill After Affair

A series of confidential emails discovered during an investigation of Hillary Clinton’s online accounts are said to contain correspondence revealing that the former first lady believed oral sex meant ‘talking dirty’ rather than an actual physical act. According to a Continue reading Hillary Emails Lay Out Why She Hung With Bill After Affair

Trump Plans To Replace English Alphabet With American Version

President Trump is expected to sign an executive order to replace the familiar English language alphabet and grammar with an American version to reduce the United State’s dependence on foreign imports. That decision, according to an unnamed  source, was discussed Continue reading Trump Plans To Replace English Alphabet With American Version

Attendees At Trump Rallies Think ‘Roe vs. Wade’ Is Upcoming UFC Fight

In a series of surveys taken of those attending President Trump’s rallies some thirty-one percent thought “Roe versus Wade,” the Supreme Court decision upholding abortion rights, was actually an upcoming UFC fight while another nineteen-percent believed it was two of Continue reading Attendees At Trump Rallies Think ‘Roe vs. Wade’ Is Upcoming UFC Fight

Giddy GOP Congressmen Said To “Wet Their Pants” During Strzok Hearings

Republican members of Congress who questioned FBI agent Peter Strzok’s investigation into Donald Trump were reportedly so excited for the opportunity they may have wet their pants during the proceedings. The source, a custodian working for a company contracted to perform Continue reading Giddy GOP Congressmen Said To “Wet Their Pants” During Strzok Hearings

Trump Aide Stephen Miller’s Vampirism Linked To Missing Border Children

A classified report from the Department of Homeland Security is said to implicate senior White House advisor Steven Miller’s recurrence of his life long struggle with vampirism in the disappearance of migrant children separated from their parents at the border. Continue reading Trump Aide Stephen Miller’s Vampirism Linked To Missing Border Children

“Terrified” Don Jr. and Eric Trump Separated From Parents At Border

An Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) error reportedly separated Eric and Donald Trump Jr. from their parents when they wandered off as the family entered the United States from an overseas trip. The eldest sons of President Donald Trump and Continue reading “Terrified” Don Jr. and Eric Trump Separated From Parents At Border

Trump Fears “Border Conflict Between North And South Dakota”

Donald Trump has reportedly ordered the Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke and members of the National Guard to unify those states in America that claim the same name. He said “we have to settle any simmering differences starting with Continue reading Trump Fears “Border Conflict Between North And South Dakota”