Republican members of Congress who questioned FBI agent Peter Strzok’s investigation into Donald Trump were reportedly so excited for the opportunity they may have wet their pants during the proceedings.
The source, a custodian working for a company contracted to perform maintenance in the committee room, said it was the first time he had seen such widespread staining of chairs for a question and answer session.
“I’ve seen this kind of thing before when a celebrity or the Pope visited this place but not for some guy like (Strozk),” he said. “When I came into the room some of the Republican members were giggling like school girls as they were leaving. Usually their aides hold their folders but today a lot of them were holding their own. When I went to put away the nameplates it was easy to figure out who did what.”
A spokesperson for the GOP adamantly denied its members were so excited they were unable to control their bladders. “While it may have seemed like the vigorous questioning of Strzok resulted in excessive moisture on the furniture by our members it was actually a result of the humidity in the room.”
When asked why the Democrats’ chairs only had snacks and napkins on them the GOP spokesperson said, “I guess they must be cold blooded.”
The Democrats issued a statement denying they were ‘cold blooded’ and went on to say, “The room was air conditioned. It would seem that the Republican members are simply unable to contain themselves when they don’t like what they hear.”
Said another Democrat who wished to remain anonymous; “You should have been in the House chamber when Obama gave his inaugural speech. There wasn’t a dry eye or seat cushion across the aisle where my Republican colleagues sat. It smelled like a frat party over there.”
After the exchange of remarks everyone went outside for recess.