Trump Considered Daughter Tiffany As Next Attorney General

According to sources in the White House, President Donald Trump considered appointing his youngest daughter Tiffany to the position of acting United States Attorney General. He is said to have told them that after she graduated Georgetown Law School she Continue reading Trump Considered Daughter Tiffany As Next Attorney General

Trump Plans To Replace English Alphabet With American Version

President Trump is expected to sign an executive order to replace the familiar English language alphabet and grammar with an American version to reduce the United State’s dependence on foreign imports. That decision, according to an unnamed  source, was discussed Continue reading Trump Plans To Replace English Alphabet With American Version

Attendees At Trump Rallies Think ‘Roe vs. Wade’ Is Upcoming UFC Fight

In a series of surveys taken of those attending President Trump’s rallies some thirty-one percent thought “Roe versus Wade,” the Supreme Court decision upholding abortion rights, was actually an upcoming UFC fight while another nineteen-percent believed it was two of Continue reading Attendees At Trump Rallies Think ‘Roe vs. Wade’ Is Upcoming UFC Fight

Trump Aide Stephen Miller’s Vampirism Linked To Missing Border Children

A classified report from the Department of Homeland Security is said to implicate senior White House advisor Steven Miller’s recurrence of his life long struggle with vampirism in the disappearance of migrant children separated from their parents at the border. Continue reading Trump Aide Stephen Miller’s Vampirism Linked To Missing Border Children

Trump Fears “Border Conflict Between North And South Dakota”

Donald Trump has reportedly ordered the Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke and members of the National Guard to unify those states in America that claim the same name. He said “we have to settle any simmering differences starting with Continue reading Trump Fears “Border Conflict Between North And South Dakota”

Measure of ‘Lowest Common Denominator‘ Among Americans Near Zero

The benchmark for the so-called ‘lowest common denominator’ of Americans is now close to bottoming out. “Any lower and we’ll be flat lining,” says Owen Richards, head of statistical analysis at More On, a California think tank. The term represents Continue reading Measure of ‘Lowest Common Denominator‘ Among Americans Near Zero

Rise in Spontaneous Human Combustion Fueled by Trump Election

An alarming increase in cases of spontaneous human combustion (SHC) among Americans is reportedly due in large part to anger from the election of Donald Trump and a Republican led Congress. That’s according to an explosive study by a leading Continue reading Rise in Spontaneous Human Combustion Fueled by Trump Election

White House Renovations To Include ‘People’s Lobby’ With Shops and Restaurants

According to a source, President Trump is making plans to turn the White House foyer into what he calls the ‘People’s Lobby’ as part of the building’s scheduled August renovations. The newly remodeled area will eventually be occupied by an Continue reading White House Renovations To Include ‘People’s Lobby’ With Shops and Restaurants

U.S. Intel: ISIS Sees Allies In Trump, GOP As “A Bigger Threat to Americans Than Us”

American intelligence sources, as well as a pack of cub scouts on a ham radio in Newfoundland, say they have intercepted communications at the highest level between ISIS and other terrorist groups.The communiques boast of a perceived alignment between the Continue reading U.S. Intel: ISIS Sees Allies In Trump, GOP As “A Bigger Threat to Americans Than Us”

Report: Sexless White House May Turn Trump Administration Impotent

A recent study warns that President Donald Trump’s apparent lack of marital relations could result in even greater instability in the oval office. Those findings were reported by More On, a California think tank, and included interviews with presidential scholars, Continue reading Report: Sexless White House May Turn Trump Administration Impotent