Mueller Report Ties Trump To Shooting Man On Fifth Avenue

A portion of the redacted Mueller report is said to include an account of Donald Trump shooting a man on New York’s Fifth Avenue before he was elected president.

According to a senior FBI official who was involved in the investigation, a person came forward to describe the incident after Trump declared in his campaign that he “could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters” but was rebuffed in his efforts to have his case reviewed.

The source, who spoke off the record, said that an investigation by the agency found the person to be credible but the statue of limitations has since passed and by now “Trump’s probably right about no one caring after everything he’s gotten away with.”

In the report the victim, who is only identified as a black man, is quoted as saying that he was staring at some mannequins in a window at 5th Avenue and 43rd Street when he felt a sharp pain in his left arm. He recalled thinking that it may have been a bee sting, some roadway debris or perhaps a mild heart attack. But as he wiped off a slow stream of blood inching down his arm he picked off a small piece of metal stuck to the wound.

The man stated that upon looking up he saw a smoking rifle barrel sticking out of the rear window of a nearby gold Cadillac. As the victim approached the car he observed a ‘grumpy’ man in a white sheet in the driver’s seat as a doughy orange haired boy tumbled out from the back seat. He reported that the boy then ran over to a nearby street sign and began to pee on the pole. When the child saw the victim walking over he hurried back to the car leaving a trail of urine on the sidewalk.

The alleged victim said he hailed a nearby mounted patrolman as the car attempted to drive off. The officer initially blocked the vehicle but upon seeing the occupants of the car told the victim to “leave Mr. Trump and Donnie alone”. The victim allegedly then saw the driver hand the officer some money and a sugar cube for the horse before the vehicle left the scene. There is no record of a police report or investigations after the incident.

The Mueller Report, however, states that shortly after news stories surfaced that former Trump attorney Michael Cohen had paid off  prostitute Stormy Daniels to protect the president the disgraced lawyer was approached by the shooting victim. Although there is no record of a payment the report indicates that the person was later given a high level job in the Trump administration.


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