Giddy GOP Members Said to “Wet Their Pants’ at Impeachment Hearings

Republican members sitting on the House Intelligence Committee holding the impeachment hearings against President Donald Trump were reportedly so excited for the opportunity to be on the panel that they may have wet their pants during the proceedings. The source, Continue reading Giddy GOP Members Said to “Wet Their Pants’ at Impeachment Hearings

NRA: Large Crowds Of People To Blame For Mass Shootings

A senior executive at the National Rifle Association reportedly told board members that the organization needs to promote the idea that people who gather in large groups have to take some responsibly for mass shootings. The source, who attended the Continue reading NRA: Large Crowds Of People To Blame For Mass Shootings

Report: ISIS Says Trump, GOP “Bigger Threat to America Than Us”

American intelligence sources, as well as a pack of cub scouts on a ham radio in Newfoundland, say they have intercepted communications between ISIS and other terrorist groups that lauded the United States withdrawal of troops from Syria. The communiques Continue reading Report: ISIS Says Trump, GOP “Bigger Threat to America Than Us”

Report: Humans Inbreeding From Day One Helps Explain ‘World’s Stupidity’

In a disturbing report prominent scientists now believe inbreeding dates back to the very dawn of mankind; their work confirming that every man, woman and child is related to everyone else living or dead. That common thread, they say,  is Continue reading Report: Humans Inbreeding From Day One Helps Explain ‘World’s Stupidity’

Justice Department Targets Return Of ‘Summary Executions’

A legal brief being drafted by the Department of Justice is said to advocate the use of ‘summary executions’ as an “idea whose time has come again”. The term refers to immediately executing a person accused of a crime without Continue reading Justice Department Targets Return Of ‘Summary Executions’

Ivanka Trump To Visit Disneyworld’s EPCOT On Diplomatic Mission

Ivanka Trump, an advisor to President Donald Trump, is reportedly scheduled to embark on a fact-finding trip to Disneyworld’s EPCOT’s exhibits of international countries to bolster her foreign affairs credentials. According to an aide, who spoke off the record, Ms. Continue reading Ivanka Trump To Visit Disneyworld’s EPCOT On Diplomatic Mission

Agitated Lawmakers Tumble In Congressional Laundry Room

A melee broke out in the Congressional Laundry Room when members of the House of Representatives came to blows over the meaning of “separating the coloreds from the whites”. According to a maintenance worker, who spoke off the record, the Continue reading Agitated Lawmakers Tumble In Congressional Laundry Room

Trump Brain Scan Said To Reveal Large Amounts Of “Styrofoam Like Filler”

According to a physician at Walter Reed Hospital, the results of President Donald Trump’s recent physical included an MRI that showed large portions of his brain consisted of a useless ‘Styrofoam like’ substance rather than the essential white or grey Continue reading Trump Brain Scan Said To Reveal Large Amounts Of “Styrofoam Like Filler”

Trump Considered Daughter Tiffany As Next Attorney General

According to sources in the White House, President Donald Trump considered appointing his youngest daughter Tiffany to the position of acting United States Attorney General. He is said to have told them that after she graduates Georgetown Law School she Continue reading Trump Considered Daughter Tiffany As Next Attorney General