Mueller Report Ties Trump To Shooting Man On Fifth Avenue

A portion of the redacted Mueller report is said to include an account of Donald Trump shooting a man on New York’s Fifth Avenue before he was elected president. According to a senior FBI official who was involved in the Continue reading Mueller Report Ties Trump To Shooting Man On Fifth Avenue

Agitated Lawmakers Tumble In Congressional Laundry Room

A melee broke out in the Congressional Laundry Room when members of the House of Representatives came to blows over the meaning of “separating the coloreds from the whites”. According to a maintenance worker, who spoke off the record, the Continue reading Agitated Lawmakers Tumble In Congressional Laundry Room

Trump Brain Scan Said To Reveal Large Amounts Of “Styrofoam Like Filler”

According to a physician at Walter Reed Hospital, the results of President Donald Trump’s recent physical included an MRI that showed large portions of his brain consisted of a useless ‘Styrofoam like’ substance rather than the essential white or grey Continue reading Trump Brain Scan Said To Reveal Large Amounts Of “Styrofoam Like Filler”

Trump Considered Daughter Tiffany As Next Attorney General

According to sources in the White House, President Donald Trump considered appointing his youngest daughter Tiffany to the position of acting United States Attorney General. He is said to have told them that after she graduates Georgetown Law School she Continue reading Trump Considered Daughter Tiffany As Next Attorney General

Earth Said to Be Put On Intergalactic ‘Do Not Call’ List

In a rebuke to our home planet, Earth reportedly has been added to the ‘Do Not Call’ list by the powers that be in the universe. That startling communiqué was first reported by Johan and Simone Haxtone, a French couple Continue reading Earth Said to Be Put On Intergalactic ‘Do Not Call’ List

Artificial Intelligence Expected To Put Mankind Out of Its Misery

Artificial Intelligence (AI) will be to the human race what the meteor was to the dinosaurs – a gruesome ending to Earth’s current ruling party. That startling news comes from More On, a California think tank, in a blunt report Continue reading Artificial Intelligence Expected To Put Mankind Out of Its Misery

Trump IRS Returns Found In Garage Sale Picture Frame

What was first thought to be a reprint of a Margaret Keane ‘wide-eye waif’ purchased at a Schenectady, New York garage sale turned out to conceal a copy of President Donald Trump’s latest federal and state tax returns. A spokesperson Continue reading Trump IRS Returns Found In Garage Sale Picture Frame

Scuffle At Brooklyn Cafe As Customers Declare ’No Coffee, No Peace’

A melee broke out early this morning at a coffee shop in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn between those waiting in line to order their tall, grandes and ventis and the steady stream of customers who ordered online and sauntered Continue reading Scuffle At Brooklyn Cafe As Customers Declare ’No Coffee, No Peace’

Trump Fears “Border Conflict Between North And South Dakota”

Donald Trump has reportedly ordered the Secretary of the Interior David Bernhardt and members of the National Guard to unify those states in America that claim the same name. He said “we have to settle any simmering differences starting with Continue reading Trump Fears “Border Conflict Between North And South Dakota”

Trump PAC Seeks To Push 2nd Amendment Into First Place

A political action committee (PAC) said to be aligned with President Donald Trump reportedly plans on putting a referendum on ballots throughout the country  that would give voters a voice in repositioning the order of the Constitutional amendments. The move Continue reading Trump PAC Seeks To Push 2nd Amendment Into First Place