Justice Department Targets Return Of ‘Summary Executions’

A legal brief being drafted by the Department of Justice is said to advocate the use of ‘summary executions’ as an “idea whose time has come again”. The term refers to immediately executing a person accused of a crime without Continue reading Justice Department Targets Return Of ‘Summary Executions’

Ivanka Trump To Visit Disneyworld’s EPCOT On Diplomatic Mission

Ivanka Trump, an advisor to President Donald Trump, is reportedly scheduled to embark on a fact-finding trip to Disneyworld’s EPCOT to bolster her foreign affairs credentials. According to an aide, who spoke off the record, Ms. Trump “sees this as Continue reading Ivanka Trump To Visit Disneyworld’s EPCOT On Diplomatic Mission

Agitated Lawmakers Tumble In Congressional Laundry Room

A melee broke out in the Congressional Laundry Room when members of the House of Representatives came to blows over the meaning of “separating the coloreds from the whites”. According to a maintenance worker, who spoke off the record, the Continue reading Agitated Lawmakers Tumble In Congressional Laundry Room

Trump Brain Scan Said To Reveal Large Amounts Of “Styrofoam Like Filler”

According to a physician at Walter Reed Hospital, the results of President Donald Trump’s recent physical included an MRI that showed large portions of his brain consisted of a useless ‘Styrofoam like’ substance rather than the essential white or grey Continue reading Trump Brain Scan Said To Reveal Large Amounts Of “Styrofoam Like Filler”

Trump Considered Daughter Tiffany As Next Attorney General

According to sources in the White House, President Donald Trump considered appointing his youngest daughter Tiffany to the position of acting United States Attorney General. He is said to have told them that after she graduates Georgetown Law School she Continue reading Trump Considered Daughter Tiffany As Next Attorney General

Trump IRS Returns Found In Garage Sale Picture Frame

What was first thought to be a reprint of a Margaret Keane ‘wide-eye waif’ purchased at a Schenectady, New York garage sale turned out to conceal a copy of President Donald Trump’s latest federal and state tax returns. A spokesperson Continue reading Trump IRS Returns Found In Garage Sale Picture Frame

Measure of ‘Lowest Common Denominator‘ Among Americans Near Zero

The benchmark for the so-called ‘lowest common denominator’ of Americans is now close to bottoming out. “Any lower and we’ll be flat lining,” says Owen Richards, head of statistical analysis at More On, a California think tank. The term represents Continue reading Measure of ‘Lowest Common Denominator‘ Among Americans Near Zero

Trump PAC Seeks To Push 2nd Amendment Into First Place

A political action committee (PAC) said to be aligned with President Donald Trump reportedly plans on putting a referendum on ballots throughout the country  that would give voters a voice in repositioning the order of the Constitutional amendments. The move Continue reading Trump PAC Seeks To Push 2nd Amendment Into First Place

Hillary Emails Lay Out Why She Hung With Bill After Affair

A series of confidential emails discovered during an investigation of Hillary Clinton’s online accounts are said to contain correspondence revealing that the former first lady believed oral sex meant ‘talking dirty’ rather than an actual physical act. According to a Continue reading Hillary Emails Lay Out Why She Hung With Bill After Affair

Trump Plans To Replace English Alphabet With American Version

President Trump is expected to sign an executive order to replace the familiar English language alphabet and grammar with an American version to reduce the United State’s dependence on foreign imports. That decision, according to an unnamed  source, was discussed Continue reading Trump Plans To Replace English Alphabet With American Version