Biden Plans To Order Flags At Half-Staff For “Foreseeable Future”

President Joe Biden reportedly plans on issuing an executive order to fly all American flags on federal property at half-staff every day.  The reason, said a White House source speaking off the record, is “because he feels if it’s not Continue reading Biden Plans To Order Flags At Half-Staff For “Foreseeable Future”

White House To Hold Rose Garden ‘Yard Sale’

Preparing for what seems to be the inevitable change of administrations the White House is reportedly planning to hold a massive yard sale on the grounds of the Rose Garden sometime before the Christmas holidays. According to a source who Continue reading White House To Hold Rose Garden ‘Yard Sale’

Source: White House Ordering Reams of Paper Shredders

The White House is said to be ordering large amounts of paper shredders and burn barrels as it appears likely that Donald Trump will not win re-election. According to a source within the Administration, who spoke off the record, ventilators Continue reading Source: White House Ordering Reams of Paper Shredders

Trump: “If Biden Wins Dinosaurs Will Eat Your Children”

Donald Trump declared that if Joe Biden is elected president, “Planes will fall from the sky, pizza will only come with pineapple toppings and dinosaurs will again roam free in our cities and eat your children,” among other dire warnings. Continue reading Trump: “If Biden Wins Dinosaurs Will Eat Your Children”

Trump Claims He Owns Copy Of Bible ‘Signed By The Author’

President Donald Trump is said to claim he has an “original copy of the Bible signed by the author.”  The president reportedly told a small group of religious advisors and a visiting White House tour group that he obtained the Continue reading Trump Claims He Owns Copy Of Bible ‘Signed By The Author’

White House Press Secretaries Say Everything Lying Down

The philosopher Homer, Simpson that is, once said something like, “It takes two to lie…one to lie and one to listen.”  And no truer words better describe the relationship Donald Trump and the White House has with the American people.  Continue reading White House Press Secretaries Say Everything Lying Down

Nation’s Seniors Expected To Outlive Juniors Born Years Later

The conclusion from a recent study points out that due to the spread of the Covid-19 virus among members of generations x, y and z, the nation’s senior citizens are now expected to outlive many of those who were born Continue reading Nation’s Seniors Expected To Outlive Juniors Born Years Later

As Term Nears End Trumpsters Seek Public Amends

Literary agents, media bookers and celebrity publicists are reportedly fielding an onslaught of inquiries from Republican politicians, commentators and family members seeking to secure deals to rehabilitate their reputations in anticipation of President Donald Trump losing his re-election bid. According Continue reading As Term Nears End Trumpsters Seek Public Amends

Trump Re-Election Strategy Includes ‘The Virgin Mary’

An internal document from the Committee to Re-elect America’s President (CRAP) is said to reveal some of the techniques they plan to use during Donald Trump’s upcoming campaign. The still unpublished report is said to include methods entitled ‘Crazy Like Continue reading Trump Re-Election Strategy Includes ‘The Virgin Mary’