Because People Believe What They Want To
Here is a transcript of a recording from a recent United States Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) morning roll call. They were provided by a janitor who left his phone on after being ordered to leave the room. RECORDING BEGINS… Continue reading A Janitor Taped An Ice Morning Roll Call
Oscar, is that right? Right. I’m Officer Horn and this is Officer Hardart. Hi, thanks for letting me talk to you inside your squad car, it’s pretty cold out. Sure, not a problem. Now you told the patrolman you Continue reading The Witness Who Said Too Much
With Donald Trump back occupying the Oval Office the letters from the public have been pouring in. Many were illegible, stained or contained spelling and grammatical errors. Here’s a sample edited for clarity. Dear President Trump, I got tickets to Continue reading Mail Call At The Trump White House
In addition to renaming the Gulf of Mexico and buying Greenland, President Donald Trump is expected to sign an executive order to replace the familiar English language alphabet and grammar with an American version to reduce the United States’ dependence Continue reading Trump Seeks To Replace English Language With American Version
We first met as she lay in her coffin. I gently bent down, whispered some small pleasantries in her ear, and continued along the line. I was depressed, of course, it had been a very hard day for me. With Continue reading IT COULD BE WORSE
“Hi, I’m Detective Barnum and this is Sargent Bailey and you are, let me see here, Maurice Sandoval.” “That’s right officer, sir.” “And you were in the ‘Pop and Scotch’ mini-mart when you were arrested?” “Well, yeah I work down Continue reading The Flash Mob Witness That Was Outnumbered
Although many of us are familiar with the stars of cartoons, how many truly know what they were like off-stage? In my exposé, “The Characters Behind The Characters,” I’ve uncovered the dirty secrets the studios don’t want you to know. Continue reading The Secret Lives Of Cartoon Characters
I come from a well-established line of undertakers and, as the legend goes, one of my ancestors was preparing a not-quite-dead peasant when an apparition of the Grim Reaper appeared. Supposedly they struck up a conversation and a tradition continues. Continue reading I Interned With The Grim Reaper
“I’m Detective Laurel and this is Inspector Hardy. I understand you were here at this coffeehouse when the disturbance took place?” “Yes. Hi, I’m Alan Brown and I certainly was. I was sitting at that table over there.” “And Continue reading Caffeine Fueled Witness Spills The Beans
I come from a time when Pluto was a planet, you didn’t have to pass security to go to a public restroom and pornography was hidden in the attic by your old man. I’ve been around long enough to accept Continue reading How To Hide A Wet Spot On Your Pants