Justice Department Targets Return Of ‘Summary Executions’

A legal brief being drafted by the Department of Justice is said to advocate the use of ‘summary executions’ as an “idea whose time has come again”. The term refers to immediately executing a person accused of a crime without Continue reading Justice Department Targets Return Of ‘Summary Executions’

Agitated Lawmakers Tumble In Congressional Laundry Room

A melee broke out in the Congressional Laundry Room when members of the House of Representatives came to blows over the meaning of “separating the coloreds from the whites”. According to a maintenance worker, who spoke off the record, the Continue reading Agitated Lawmakers Tumble In Congressional Laundry Room

Scuffle At Brooklyn Cafe As Customers Declare ’No Coffee, No Peace’

A melee broke out early this morning at a coffee shop in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn between those waiting in line to order their tall, grandes and ventis and the steady stream of customers who ordered online and sauntered Continue reading Scuffle At Brooklyn Cafe As Customers Declare ’No Coffee, No Peace’

Twitter Users Shame Man For Crossing Before Light Turns Green

  A man in Baltimore, Maryland who was pictured on Twitter stepping off a curb before the signal turned green has been shamed by over three hundred and sixty thousand users for his actions. The man, identified as Seth Jackson, Continue reading Twitter Users Shame Man For Crossing Before Light Turns Green

Young Donald Trump Tied To Shooting Man On Fifth Avenue

A portion of the redacted Mueller report is said to include an account of a young Donald Trump shooting a man on New York’s Fifth Avenue years before he was elected president. According to a senior FBI official, who was Continue reading Young Donald Trump Tied To Shooting Man On Fifth Avenue

Stephen Miller’s Vampirism Linked To Missing Border Children

A classified report from the Department of Homeland Security is said to implicate senior White House advisor Steven Miller’s recurrence of his life long struggle with vampirism in the disappearance of migrant children separated from their parents at the border. Continue reading Stephen Miller’s Vampirism Linked To Missing Border Children

NRA and GOP Agree to Ban on BB, Cap and Water Guns To Those Under 21

Hoping to deflect the criticism for their unending opposition to gun control measures, the National Rifle Association has given the go ahead to members of the Republican party to propose legislation that would forbid the sale of BB guns, cap Continue reading NRA and GOP Agree to Ban on BB, Cap and Water Guns To Those Under 21

Report: Charlottesville ‘Alt Right’ Usually Wrong and None Too Bright

A study of participants in the Charlottesville, Virginia ‘Alt Right’ rally found that many in the crowd had little grasp of current and historical facts or even why they were there. More On, a California think tank, sent representatives into Continue reading Report: Charlottesville ‘Alt Right’ Usually Wrong and None Too Bright