As Term Nears End Trumpsters Seek Public Amends

Literary agents, media bookers and celebrity publicists are reportedly fielding an onslaught of inquiries from Republican politicians, commentators and family members seeking to secure deals to rehabilitate their reputations in anticipation of President Donald Trump losing his re-election bid. According Continue reading As Term Nears End Trumpsters Seek Public Amends

Trump To Sue U.S. Postal Service For Use Of His Likeness

President Donald Trump has reportedly asked Attorney General William Barr to put in motion a federal lawsuit targeting the United States Postal Service if it used his likeness without his expressed written or implied consent. The move comes after the Continue reading Trump To Sue U.S. Postal Service For Use Of His Likeness

Measure of ‘Lowest Common Denominator‘ Among Americans Near Zero

The benchmark for the so-called ‘lowest common denominator’ of Americans is now close to bottoming out. “Any lower and we’ll be flat lining,” says Owen Richards, head of statistical analysis at More On, a California think tank. The term represents Continue reading Measure of ‘Lowest Common Denominator‘ Among Americans Near Zero

Trump Brain Scan Said To Reveal Large Amounts Of “Styrofoam Like Filler”

A recent MRI is said to reveal that large portions of President Donald Trump’s brain consisted of a useless ‘Styrofoam like’ substance rather than the essential white or grey matter needed to maintain a cognitive thought process. The source, a Continue reading Trump Brain Scan Said To Reveal Large Amounts Of “Styrofoam Like Filler”

Trump Believed International Space Station Was ’I.S.I.S. Threat’

President Donald Trump was said to have considered destroying the International Space Station when he confused its initials of I.S.S. with the Islamic State terrorist’s organization’s abbreviation I.S.I.S. According to an anonymous whistleblower, Trump became visibly upset after reading the Continue reading Trump Believed International Space Station Was ’I.S.I.S. Threat’

Trump Plans To Replace English Alphabet With American Version

President Trump is expected to sign an executive order to replace the familiar English language alphabet and grammar with an American version to reduce the United State’s dependence on foreign imports. That decision, according to an unnamed  source, was discussed Continue reading Trump Plans To Replace English Alphabet With American Version

Fox News Said To Join Trump In Re-Election Reality Show

Fox News is said to be in negotiations with President Donald Trump to co-produce a reality show tied to his re-election campaign. The program, tentatively titled “The Emissary”, will pit selected high end contributors to the Republican party and GOP Continue reading Fox News Said To Join Trump In Re-Election Reality Show

Giddy GOP Members Said to “Wet Their Pants’ at Impeachment Hearings

Republican members sitting on the House Intelligence Committee holding the impeachment hearings against President Donald Trump were reportedly so excited for the opportunity to be on the panel that they may have wet their pants during the proceedings. The source, Continue reading Giddy GOP Members Said to “Wet Their Pants’ at Impeachment Hearings

Trump Considered Daughter Tiffany As Next Attorney General

According to sources in the White House, President Donald Trump considered appointing his youngest daughter Tiffany to the position of acting United States Attorney General, a position that eventually went to William Barr. Trump was said to have told close Continue reading Trump Considered Daughter Tiffany As Next Attorney General

Report: ISIS Says Trump, GOP “Bigger Threat to America Than Us”

American intelligence sources, as well as a pack of cub scouts on a ham radio in Newfoundland, say they have intercepted communications between ISIS and other terrorist groups that looked favorably on decisions the Trump Administration has made. The communiques Continue reading Report: ISIS Says Trump, GOP “Bigger Threat to America Than Us”