Latest Rankings Show Third World Now in Fifth Place

3rd World

A recent study by the World Economic Ranking Council has downgraded the so-called ‘Third World’ into fifth place. Although considered controversial  the Council’s conclusions are often used by international bankers, arms salesmen and party planners among others,

According to the WERC, the member states in World One are mostly unchanged where the majority living there can still buy what they want or need. Those residing in World Two can get what they need, for the most part, but not necessarily what they want.

Now occupying the Third World are territories that get what they want or need only by brute force. A new class, the Fourth World, consists of countries or areas where the people previously had what they needed but increasing are losing it, primarily to the newly forming Third World. The Fifth World, formally the Third World, still has only what the other realms let it have.

“It can get confusing but ranking is what we do and we’re considered the premier ranking think tank by those who rank such things, “ a Council spokesperson said.

As a result of these findings a consortium of the former Third World countries have retained the public relations team of Watt, Evere, Workes and Associates to improve their standing. The firm will promote the ‘unspoiled and traditional’ aspects of those regions in an effort to prevent funds once earmarked for them from being diverted to other areas of concern.

The WERC used both empirical and statistical data from multiple sources such as government pamphlets, Eskimos, rebel warlords and Facebook to reach its conclusions.

Gil Prowler writes political and social commentary.



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