Hillary Emails Lay Out Why She Hung With Bill After Affair

A series of confidential emails discovered during an investigation of Hillary Clinton’s online accounts are said to contain correspondence revealing that the former first lady believed oral sex meant ‘talking dirty’ rather than an actual physical act. According to a Continue reading Hillary Emails Lay Out Why She Hung With Bill After Affair

Trump Plans To Replace English Alphabet With American Version

President Trump is expected to sign an executive order to replace the familiar English language alphabet and grammar with an American version to reduce the United State’s dependence on foreign imports. That decision, according to an unnamed  source, was discussed Continue reading Trump Plans To Replace English Alphabet With American Version

Trump Fears “Border Conflict Between North And South Dakota”

Donald Trump has reportedly ordered the Secretary of the Interior David Bernhardt and members of the National Guard to unify those states in America that claim the same name. He said “we have to settle any simmering differences starting with Continue reading Trump Fears “Border Conflict Between North And South Dakota”

Attendees At Trump Rallies Think ‘Roe vs. Wade’ Is Upcoming UFC Fight

In a series of surveys taken of those attending President Trump’s rallies some thirty-one percent thought “Roe versus Wade,” the Supreme Court decision upholding abortion rights, was actually an upcoming UFC fight while another nineteen-percent believed it was two of Continue reading Attendees At Trump Rallies Think ‘Roe vs. Wade’ Is Upcoming UFC Fight

Giddy GOP Congressmen Said To “Wet Their Pants” During Strzok Hearings

Republican members of Congress who questioned FBI agent Peter Strzok’s investigation into Donald Trump were reportedly so excited for the opportunity they may have wet their pants during the proceedings. The source, a custodian working for a company contracted to perform Continue reading Giddy GOP Congressmen Said To “Wet Their Pants” During Strzok Hearings

Stephen Miller’s Vampirism Linked To Missing Border Children

A classified report from the Department of Homeland Security is said to implicate senior White House advisor Steven Miller’s recurrence of his life long struggle with vampirism in the disappearance of migrant children separated from their parents at the border. Continue reading Stephen Miller’s Vampirism Linked To Missing Border Children

“Terrified” Don Jr. and Eric Trump Separated From Parents At Border

An Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) error reportedly separated Eric and Donald Trump Jr. from their parents when they wandered off as the family entered the United States from an overseas trip. The eldest sons of President Donald Trump and Continue reading “Terrified” Don Jr. and Eric Trump Separated From Parents At Border

NRA and GOP Agree to Ban on BB, Cap and Water Guns To Those Under 21

Hoping to deflect the criticism for their unending opposition to gun control measures, the National Rifle Association has given the go ahead to members of the Republican party to propose legislation that would forbid the sale of BB guns, cap Continue reading NRA and GOP Agree to Ban on BB, Cap and Water Guns To Those Under 21